Devil's Adequate

Oh… kay. I need your advice.
You all know I’m Russian (if you didn’t - congrats, you know that from now on)), and I certainly have accent (which often makes my speech… complicated). The thing is, I want to improve my English speech. So I read out loud a fragment of a truly nice book (“The Night Circus” by Erin Morgenstern, do check that one out despite the fact I chose it only because it was the closest book I could grab)), recorded it in slightly “kiddos, here cometh the fairytale” voice mode, and, well, here it is. I’ve been told my mistakes and peculiar pronunciation don’t spoil my speech a lot, but I know I’ve got issues (intonation being the worst part of it).

In short: I want to know my ‘weak spots’.

I want to check if I can be understood right if I speak out loud. I want to show you ZE REAL RUSSIAN ACCENT AHAHAHA sorry, I mean, I really need your assistance with this. Tell me about my main mistakes (I especially chose a huge passage, just to get you more statistics). Even if you’re not interested in linguistic part - you can always listen to a curious passage from a nice book with rather strange accent just for lols, anyway)))

I’m always grateful for a good advice.

Have you got any?